they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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