so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
