Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
