2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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