Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
