wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
