I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
