wat bout pragnant strippers??
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
