Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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