He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
