I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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