Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
