just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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