I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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