Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
