It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just cropdusted the office
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
