Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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