I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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