maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
