it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
All the doctor said was why
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
