Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
