I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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