Well apparently he's into motor boating.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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