oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
