haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize