Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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