READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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