he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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