i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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