I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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