she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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