ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
