we're chasing vodka with high fives
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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