never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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