sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
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today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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