I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
