I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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