She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
