Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize