Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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