Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
