i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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