I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You ruined the universe
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
