Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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