Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
