He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
