dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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