There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
