He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
