I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Randomize
