I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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