i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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