Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
