Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
