And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
