I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
