Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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