yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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